The beginning of a new relationship is always exciting: the mystery of it all, the butterflies, discovering someone new for the first time.
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you know that over time, that initial excitement fades as you start to know everything about your partner and the effects of the “honeymoon phase” wear off – but this doesn’t mean that your relationship needs to lose its spark.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, we’ve got you covered – here are 10 ways to keep your long-term relationship exciting.
1. Give Each Other Some Space
Giving your partner space to miss you is a great tool to keep the relationship fresh and exciting. When you both have your own lives, it not only gives you the time to crave your partner’s presence, but it also lets you load up on new material to talk about when the two of you are back together.
The space you take should be time well spent, however. Make sure you’re spending time with people you love, who make you feel good, or by doing things that help you recharge. That way, you’ll return to your partner as the best version of yourself, radiant as ever.
2. Plan a Fun Trip or Activity
It’s not uncommon after being with someone for so long to be privy to closing off to new experiences and adventures because you fall into a comfort zone.
However, by planning a fun trip – even just an overnight weekend trip a car drive away – or an adventurous activity like discovering a nearby town you’ve never visited, the shared bonding time will help to release positive endorphins to keep your relationship thriving. When planning, make sure to keep in mind your partner’s interests and what makes them happy.
3. Try Out Some New Toys
You likely already know what your partner likes sexually, just as they know you inside out as well. However, a mistake that many couples make is they stop experimenting in the bedroom, which makes their sex lives routine, and thus lacking in excitement.
A fantastic way of upping the fun in your long-term relationship is by introducing some new sex toys that the two of you haven’t tried together. A fun one that we recommend is a good butt vibrator – they come in plenty of shapes and sizes for both beginners and advanced players, and many of them come with a remote control, as well. Pop the vibe in place and hand your partner the remote on your next dinner date, and you’re in for a really exciting night.
4. Don’t Hold Back
Often, we hold back our feelings in long-term relationships because we just assume our partner knows how we feel. They know everything else about us, shouldn’t they be able to read our minds, too?
Wrong. Words and actions are both critical parts of a successful relationship – holding hands, deep eye contact, and a spontaneous kiss are all actions that are easy to overlook, but are small ways to make a big difference in keeping your relationship exciting.
5. Put Your Phone Down
After so many years with someone, it’s terribly easy to take your time with them for granted. A great way to keep your relationship exciting is to carve out time without phones or other distractions like kids or household duties to just spend time together and catch up on your respective days.
How often you do this is up to your discretion – whether you can afford to do this an hour a day, or prefer to do one long date night a week to give each other your undivided attention, you’ll sleep well knowing you’re investing in your relationship.
6. Make Out, But Don’t Go Further
Channel your inner teenagers making out at the lockers in between classes, and make kissing a part of your daily life again. Over time, kissing may just become a hello or goodbye, or a preamble to sex. By reintroducing kissing in a deep and meaningful way, you’ll bring up a fresh wave of excitement that takes you back to a different time.
7. Start a Conversation
Get curious with your partner – when was the last time you asked them something that didn’t have to do with chores or work?
Surprise them with some random questions meant to take your conversation to a deeper level: “What do you love most about our relationship?” According to science, the magic relationship ratio says that for every negative interaction, a healthy, happy marriage has 5 positive interactions. So, aim to have conversations that will bring you two closer in a positive way.
8. Surprise Your Partner
In theory, you know your partner more than anyone, meaning that you know exactly how to surprise them, and what kind of surprise they would love.
Whether it’s by throwing on a shirt you know they love, doing your hair a certain way, or planning an activity for the two of you, dig deep into your partner’s mind and heart. The thoughtful gesture is sure to bring you two closer, and reignite the flame.
9. Re-visit Old Activities
Take a trip down memory lane and reflect on what things you used to do together when the relationship was still fresh. Was there a certain album you two always listened to? Did you used to enjoy going on bike rides, going to see a play, long drives, or going camping? Revisiting old memories and activities that made you fall in love in the first place is sure to bring old feelings rushing back, including those butterflies!
10. Have Sex Like it’s the Last Time
Not in a sad or morbid way! What would you do if you thought it was the last time you and your partner would ever be together intimately? This could be a fun way to ramp things up in the bedroom, while allowing yourselves to loosen your inhibitions and be present with each other.
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Let yourselves get lost in each other’s bodies, and indulge in the steamy experience brought on by intense emotions and care for each other.