Listen, the world of self-love, female masturbation, and female sexual empowerment is ever-evolving. Perhaps in the past you were told that pleasuring yourself wasn’t important or that you should save feeling sexy for when you were with a man. It’s different today. Today there are some real benefits of female masturbation that we should be talking about. See if any of these apply for you and get down to business.
1. Your sex life with your partner sucks
Sure, there’s a whole host of reasons why sex isn’t working between you and your partner. While it’s certainly a partner issue, masturbating is something you can do that is clearly inside your locus of control to help.
So often, the issue with couples and challenging sexual relationships is an unclear understanding of what truly feels good for one or the other. The result? When you go to have sex, your own lack of understanding of your body results in poor communication with your partner. Instead of being able to precisely say, “I like it when ___ happens”, you’re left with “Hmmm no, maybe, yes there.” Female masturbation is a great way to own your own body and the language for how it feels good.
Through using sex toys for women, you can learn to express what specifically works for you. For example, “I like when you push upward when you’re inserted into me” makes a lot more sense to your partner than “No, not like that.” At the end of the day, you’re responsible for your pleasure, and female masturbation is a great way to take the bull by the horns and get to know what you desire.
2. You “numb” out during sex
If you come from a more repressed upbringing or saved sex for later in life, you may simply just be confused during sex. Often women will report feeling “out of body” in the circumstances like this. Female masturbation helps you become present back in your body so that when you have sex, you notice the pleasure you are or are not feeling.
This can be especially true for those with traumatic pasts. Often our bodies try to protect themselves from getting hurt by dissociating. You may not even notice sensations happening to you during sex if this is the case. Female masturbation allows you to step back into your body in a more empowered way. In addition to learning what specifically feels good, you’ll also learn how to remain present in your body during sexual intimacy.
3. You only know one way to consistently find pleasure
Efficiency is great when it comes to finishing up a work task, but “efficient” is no way to enjoy sex life. If you’re predictably using one strategy to get yourself to orgasm, you’re simply missing out. There are tons of different ways to experience sexual pleasure. Female masturbation allows you to check back in and try them out in your own space and time.
Did you know some women can orgasm simply from nipple play? It may or may not be you, but you’ll never know unless you spend some time trying. With the wide array of sex toys for women on the market now, you can also learn how you like being pleased there too. Some women prefer penetration, while others enjoy external clitoral pleasure. The truth is, you’ll never know until you try.
Remember that sex is not a race to the finish line. Female masturbation allows you to experience all the pleasure that your body has to offer on terms that feel good to you.
4. You have only tried one type of sex toy
The sex toy market has come a long way from the first rabbit vibrators of yesteryear. Sure the old reliable Hitachi wands were great, but if you haven’t checked out some of the new sex toys for women on the market, you’re missing out.
This new generation of sex toys for women prioritize stimulation of both the internal and external clitoral networks. Through sucking, pulsing, and vibrating (or delightful combinations of the three), these sex toys are powerful.
This is all happening because more women are getting into the sex toy market. Sex toys for women are now often also made by women too. Just take V for Vibes; this female-owned company prioritizes female pleasure because it’s clearly close to their heart. Female masturbation is not a one size fits all process, and the new line of sex toys allows for a diversity of pleasure in every session.
5. You feel creatively blocked
So much of our creativity comes to play when we have sex. Folks in spiritual circles would call this a “blocked sacral chakra”, but the truth is even if you’re not spiritual, a good orgasm from a masturbation session can do a lot for you creatively.
According to this Scientific American study, they asked respondents to think about love and sex and then solve creative problems. They found that “thinking about love, or anything that promotes a distal perspective or global processing, can make us more creative.” It was especially interesting that the more people visualized loving interactions, the more creative they became.
Successful female masturbation is full of these loving visualizations. In fact, women are more likely to fantasize about some of the more minute-loving elements of sex. Nibbles on the ear, loving terms of endearment, and the setup that women often use to masturbate all help to create a loving space.
The result? A more creative headspace. So the next time you’re feeling stuck on a problem at work or confused about what to post next on social media, try a beautiful self-love session. The benefits of female masturbation can help you even in this interesting way.
6. You’ve been a little tense lately
Feeling tense is another great indicator that it may be time to sit down and enjoy some sexual time alone. Men have known this for a while. In fact, if you’re feeling brave, I’d encourage you to ask the men in your life if they’ve ever used masturbation as a treatment for some of their own tension. Odds are they’d say they have.
Historically, women, on the other hand, have been told to keep their self-love practices private, discreet, or to simply just eliminate them at all. With the rise of female masturbation in our modern era, we now can also see the benefits that men have been enjoying this whole time. Masturbation can help relieve muscle tension, release anxieties, and help you reconnect to your body. In fact, it’s been shown that masturbation can help reduce stress levels and encourage relaxation.
If you’re ready to enjoy some self-love time and looking for a bit of calm to go with it, consider mixing it in with a nap or meditation afterward. With the power of a cathartic orgasmic release and some time spent reconnecting to your body and energy levels, you’ll feel renewed as a result of your time alone.
The benefits of female masturbation are clearly far-reaching. The fact that so many of us have been told to limit it before really speaks to the way we’ve been mistreated in the past. As the women empowerment movement grows, take time for your own masturbation practice. Reconnect with your body and the world.